Journal 16/06/20

Jesus is the light of truth, according to John. This kind of light illuminates reality, revealing the truth of the way things are. All my life I’ve walked in confusion and didn’t even know it. Or sometimes I did know it. Life can be full of confusion and uncertainty and ignorance. I just didn’t realize the depths of my confusion, the depths of my inner darkness. Through relationship with Christ, his light shines into your darkness and illuminates your soul. It is like you were stood in your bedroom in the darkness and didn’t realize what was even around you, and then the Lord switches the light on and you suddenly see how messy your room is.

But it’s not just about our mess, about seeing that in the light. It’s about seeing the reality of the way things are, and the reality of the way things actually work in this life. I am becoming convinced that 100 percent of our sinful behaviour is down to our lack of understanding. We act in sinful and destructive ways because we simply don’t see and understand things as they actually are. God teaches us about life, and through the washing of his Word, our life becomes clearer within the context of God’s Word. He shines his light in us so we can see what is really going on, and then when we act we are acting from an understanding of reality as opposed to acting from a misunderstanding of reality. This is the sanctification process.

I dreamt last night about light. I entered a house that was full of strange plants, and the man inside was telling me of a new invention. He had reinvented the light bulb! He said that the problem with most light bulbs is that they are unnatural and the light is not healthy for us, but through these plants that give off natural light, he had created new devices that utilize these plants, in order to illuminate with a natural light that is just like daylight. And he showed me, and inside his house it really did seem like daytime, even though it was night outside! Then he showed me his best device, and inside it was this really wide, bulky plant, which had a red flower at the top, kinda like a rose, and then the plant started making some rumbling noises, like it was building up in power, and then the petals opened and powerful beams of light poured out of it like the rising of the sun, illuminating the entire room. It was really awe inspiring and breathtaking.

I wonder what God is saying to me in this dream. What are the two kinds of light? What is the unnatural light and the natural light? We know that light is synonymous with truth, with understanding reality. I was meditating today on 1 Corinthians 1:17-2:5. Paul says that “the world through its wisdom did not know him”. We are also told in proverbs to “rely not on our own understanding, but on every word from the mouth of God.” So there is the wisdom or understanding of the world, and then there is the wisdom of God. The devil may appear as an angel of light they say. This is the world’s light, but God’s light is much better. It’s discerning the counterfeit from the genuine article. Just as the lightbulb is the counterfeit or the pale imitation of the glorious daylight of the sun, the wisdom from the world is a pale imitation of the Word of God, which is life. God is saying to us, “come and see, I have the better light for you.”