Repent?

Got some good news.God doesn't desire you to haveindependent moral perfection.He's not like"oh look at that guythat guy is just perfectI don't need to have a relationship with him,he is doing just fine on his own."No.When we talk about repentence,that is NOT what we are talking about.The bible teaches that God desiresa broken spirit and …

Social Anxiety

I had a revelation today about my anxiety. It's a lot of stuff I kinda already knew, but I hadn't really got it in a deep way, and I hadn't really connected all the dots before now, at least not in a way I felt convicted in my heart. My anxiety stems from a fear …

God is in the Interruptions

I didn't want to beinterruptedfrom Godbut as I looked upI sawit was His faceinterrupting me.May I never beso on the callthat I miss the call.God isin the time between.He's in the long walk homeand the waiting before.He's in the cancellationand the defeat.When the day is exhaustedand the frustrated hum of hoursis settled into quiet,He is …

Gentle

I always thought that Elijah,when he seeks Godon the mountainand finds him notin the powerful windor the earthquakeor the firebut in the gentle whisper,that he was teaching us to be stillto hear Him.And that is true,but I realize now it is more,it is about who He is.He's not what we expect.He's not weilding lightning boltsand …

Holy Mountain

Ever since I was littleI've had this recurring dreamof being in a tidal wave.I would see this great wavetowering in the distance,thousands of feet high.And I knew my timewas running out,so I would flee,try to hide,try to fight it,but I would always becomeoverwhelmed,and sometimes I would even diein my dream.But this time it was different.This …

The Saddest Thing

The saddest thingis not that God is hard to findbut that we,having found him easily,are not prepared to pay the price. So much we hold on to,we consume ourselves with,we don't know what it is to let go,to enter the gentle streamsof his instruction,to fall back into his depths.The things I've chosenover life in God,what …

Faith is a funny thing..

Faithis a funny thing.I still doubtthat he is even there.No matter how many signsit is never enough.Jesus saidthat an adulterous generationasks for a sign.Faith isn't going to workthat way.Faith is the hopein things not yet seen.It's trusting in the invisible.It isn't about gathering enough evidenceor experienceto prove he is there.God will hide himselfthat we might …

Broken in the Light

In a dream onceI knew I was dreamingso I venturedfrom the storylineand entered a cave.Deep withinwas a mirrorand I wanted to see myself,what I was likein this deep, inner place.What I saw was twisted,my body set in shadows,scarredand dry and wiltinglike a plant,head hanging down,eyes empty and glazed.I have seen him since,in those momentstaken off …

Peace in Failure

I think there is peacein failure,when it finally appears,no longer loomingdarkly in the distance,when it comeswith its toothless bite.I tried so hardto keep it away,but it was always closing the gap.I need it to be okay,so I can stop fighting,stop trying to provethat I am good enoughwhen I am not.Failure is a dark creature,but it …

The Way of God

I wanted to write a bit aboutthe way of Godas I've come to discover it.My way is one of force,of control, of coercion.I push, I strain, I workto defend myself,to bend othersand the world around me,to accomplish my aims.And sometimes my aims are goodand I want to help,but I find myself in conflict.My ways don't …